Today I am touching on the idea of compassion to one’s self. Specifically when it comes to a change in schedule and how that might look through my own inner monologue.
Within three years I have had three major lifestyle changes when it comes to work. I recently started working for a local health food store full time after months of unemployment and freelance work that came after almost two years of working in an office for an online apparel company. That is a lot of changes to my daily schedule.
I am a very easily adaptable person that doesn’t have as many issues with changing my natural rhythms. I can easily switch between staying up late and waking up early. What is difficult for me is the inner monologue I run through whenever I have a new schedule. Since I am not a single person I have always felt that my schedule effects my partner and I’m very aware of that. In the past I have been met with many challenges to staying on the same page with people as I pursue something for myself, while staying considerate of anyone around me. Of course, I don’t always do this as graciously as I might think I am, but this time I am trying something completely different from how I have approached a schedule change in my past. That is having compassion to myself as I figure it out.
The number one thing we all struggle with is the way we talk to ourselves. As they say we are our own worst enemy and our most stern critics. This can come from a million different things in our past, how we were brought up, our own personal ideals, religion, and the list goes on and on. What isn’t really taught to us on a fundamental level or if it is taught we just forget sometimes is how to have compassion to ourselves all the time.
We are never going to do things perfectly, at least not the first time. As we fail it is up to us to take those failures and turn them into lessons to learn from our mistakes and get better. As I am embarking on a new chapter of my life I am faced with a new schedule that is not set. I don’t have specific days and hours as of right now. All I know is I am off on Sundays and I have one other day off a week. The rest is up in the air and it is up to me to find a way to mold to that.
So my challenges this week as I have changed my schedule are to be nice to myself. I have allowed myself the time to get enough rest, make sure I am eating properly, and taking whatever time I have when I am by myself to be proud of where I am today. Another thing I did was to say thank you to my partner for understanding that this is a point of transition. Instead of whatever frustration may come with this from his side, I expressed my appreciation to allow me to figure out how to make everything fit in my life, including spending quality time with him.
I was met with graciousness. Not only from my partner but from myself. I have been listening to my body to figure out when it is time to sleep, to not over do or take on too much while I am in this transition. What has been the most difficult is not being able to find the time to go a yoga class in several weeks. Normally I would be upset with myself to not squeeze it in and watching money go out the door as I pay for my spot at the studio every month. The thing I have come to understand within myself is that time is on my side. I have a spot paid for and when I feel that I am ready then there will be time again for me to join in a class to practice. That itch to go is great but I have had to separate that voice in myself that I ‘should’ go.
This has been a bit of a rambling post today but as I have been putting my thoughts together this Thursday what I can say is that I am learning a new level of having compassion within myself. No one else is living my life the way I am, and as long as I am doing it the best I can then I have no reason to criticize or pass judgement on how that is happening. There is room for all things to fit and as time passes everything will again come to fit the way it’s supposed to.
So, I leave you with one piece of advice. No matter how your day goes just keep in mind that it is your way. We may not always do things at our best and that is completely ok! Tomorrow is another day to try better or try differently. The point is we are here being exactly what we are!
I love that I am just as I am.